As the weather warms up, so does the noise about getting “summer ready.” You know the drill — fewer layers, more skin, and suddenly everyone’s talking about shaping up for the beach. Social media feeds are filled with workout plans, diet tips, and a whole lot of pressure to look a certain way. Add in more social events and photo ops, and it’s easy to feel like your body is constantly on display. That pressure can spiral fast, leading to rigid eating, over-exercising, or even canceling plans altogether just to avoid feeling uncomfortable. I’ve seen that movie before and I didn’t like the ending.
But here’s a gentle thought: What if this summer wasn’t about changing your body, but about changing the way you think about your body?
Thinness = Confidence… Or Does It?
We’ve been fed the idea that confidence only lives in thin bodies, but real life paints a much more interesting picture. If thinness automatically meant confidence, then no thin person would ever feel insecure (spoiler: they do). And if larger bodies couldn’t be confident, we wouldn’t see so many amazing humans rocking bikinis with zero apologies.
Confidence doesn’t come from a clothing size, it comes from how we see ourselves and what we believe about our worth.
One of the most powerful ways to start shifting those beliefs? Diversify what you see. Pay attention to the kinds of bodies filling your feed and your friend circles IRL. The more you surround yourself with body diversity, the more you realize that beauty, worth, and belonging aren’t limited to one shape or size.
Let’s make this summer about showing up — not shrinking down.
“But I Felt More Confident When I Was Smaller…”
This is something I hear all the time, and honestly, it makes sense that people feel this way. But let’s break it down a bit.
When someone says, “I am more confident when I am smaller,” what they’re often describing isn’t true confidence. It’s actually something else: a sense of safety.
Think about it: maybe you felt more at ease showing more skin because you weren’t as worried about stares or comments. Maybe you didn’t second-guess going back for another plate of food because you weren’t afraid of being judged. Maybe you could glance at photos without immediately zooming in on “flaws.” That’s not necessarily confidence, that’s the relief of not feeling like a target.
It’s the absence of fear, not the presence of self-love.
And here’s where it gets tricky: when we are consumed with how our body looks, we often lose touch with what our body feels. Food becomes a minefield of rules and guilt. Movement becomes punishment instead of joy. We get stuck in that exhausting loop of restricting, then eating past fullness, then beating ourselves up, then starting over again.
Why? Because our brain is wired to keep us safe. If our worth feels tied to our appearance, and our appearance feels tied to other people’s approval, we’ll do whatever we can to avoid criticism, judgment, or shame. Even if it means putting our body through hell.
But what if we’ve been calling it “confidence” when it is really just a way to stay out of harm’s way?
That realization can be a powerful turning point. Because true confidence, the kind that sticks around no matter what your body looks like, comes from self-trust. It comes from knowing you’re allowed to take up space, enjoy food, and exist in photos exactly as you are.
And the best part? That kind of confidence is available to you right now, in the body you’re in today.
Coming soon: Part 2 — Building Real Confidence, One Thought at a Time