What Confidence Really Looks Like (Spoiler: It’s Not a Size)
So let’s go back to that question: if confidence isn’t about being smaller, what is it?
Confidence is a mindset. It’s about having your own back. It’s choosing, day after day, not to tear yourself down with self-criticism. It’s intentionally treating your body with respect, regardless of how it compares to society’s beauty standards. It’s wearing clothes that reflect you, not the version of you you think you’re supposed to be.
That kind of confidence? It comes from self-trust.
Rewiring Your Thoughts: From Body Hate to Body Neutrality
Let’s say you’re planning a beach trip, but your brain immediately says: “I hate my body.” Oof. That one thought can kick off a domino effect. Your inner mean girl starts in on you, you recognize her voice right away, like a mermaid leading a sailor astray…you think you need to punish your body with an intense workout or restrict what you eat beforehand. And suddenly, your brain believes your body deserves punishment.
But what if you interrupted that thought and slowly started training your brain to see things differently?
Like any mindset shift, this takes practice. Think of it like climbing a ladder—one small step at a time. Instead of jumping straight to “I love my body” (which might feel impossible right now), you start where you are and move toward more neutral, supportive thoughts.
Next time “I hate my body” pops up, try gently questioning it:
“What if my brain is lying to me when it tells me to hate my body?”
That’s one step away from body hatred.
Once that feels easier, try:
“Other people feel confident in their bodies.”
Look for real-life examples, people of all shapes and sizes living unapologetically. Seeing it in others can make it feel more possible for you.
Next step:
“I have a human body.”
Your brain can’t argue with that! It’s a neutral fact.
And then:
“I’m becoming someone who feels more comfortable in their body.”
This is where the real shift happens.
Every time you move up one rung on that ladder, you’re building trust with yourself. And that trust is the foundation of real confidence.
Be Gentle With the Process
This work takes time. Some days you’ll feel strong and grounded. Other days, the old thoughts will sneak back in. That’s normal. That’s human. What matters most is that you keep showing up for yourself with patience and curiosity.
Celebrate every win, no matter how small. Each one is proof that you’re doing the hard, beautiful work of unlearning and rebuilding. This isn’t about perfection — it’s about progress.
You’re unlearning years, maybe decades, of conditioning. That takes courage. And you don’t have to do it alone.
When you’re ready for extra support on this journey, I’m here for you. Together, we’ll redefine confidence, safety, and comfort, so you can show up this summer (and always) as your real, authentic self.